Today I had a baby sitter for a few hours for the first time in over a week because I was home sick taking care of sick kids. My husband is home now with said cold, and thus can be there if the babysitter has any questions. Yet still, it took me thirty minutes to get out of the house. I vowed to go and slowly groom my horse, spend time exercising her, and take her for a ride into the mountains to get some peace and quiet. Do you know how many times I thought about checking in on things? Too many.
I have learned after what took almost six years, that I must create time that is just for me in the name of peace of body mind and spirit. It doesn’t always happen, but sometimes it’s there, whereas in the past, I walked around with the burden of thinking I had to do everything.
This burden, this cage, was created by myself.
It is up to me, to create time and space for me.
I have learned, after many years of taking care of everything, that I set it up this way, and no one is going to help me unless I ask. Of course-there are friends-who show up-and recognize you’re overwhelmed. Of course, there is family who will see you need an extra hand. Yet still, the magnitude of what a mother (any mother) must think about whether she stays at home all day or balances work and home, is tremendous. She needs help.
To protect your peace, you must:
After my health challenge with adrenal issues and autoimmune issues, I realized enough is enough. I focused on my health, started letting childcare in, set up a babysitting swap with a friend, started having more dates with my husband, and began to create space for my peace. It may have only been a handful of hours a week, and that was enough to start-it was something. Soon I learned what I needed, I prioritized, I did the things I speak of above, and I recognized I was the best advocate for my wellbeing.
Protecting my peace is a lot of things for me. It means knowing the importance of me getting a break. It means listening to my heart and surrounding myself with people who are kind to it. I value my role as a mother, and remind myself daily the amount of energy I put out to take the best care I can of my children. I find healthy outlets if I’m feeling burnt out, and I do my best to get that energy out of my body.
Listen, no one is going to protect your peace for you. Life with kids is sometimes chaotic and intense. It can be tremendously draining. Not everyone has the resources for childcare, nannies, housecleaners etc., and I get that. However, the first step, is recognizing the importance of your peace. Even if it’s an hour in the morning before your child/children get up, or an hour at night, you must create a space for you, and protect it. Your children will benefit, your relationship will benefit, and mama, you’re worth it.
Mamas, if you would love help creating strategies to protect your peace in your day to day life, check out my one on one sessions that are designed to help you find more balance, harmony, and value in your role as mama.
©Michelle Peterson 2016